It Seems That It Will Take A While Until I Get The Answer

“I miss home…”

 

“Same for me…”

 

“Dude! Go back to your home then! Canada is the Great White North, you know?”

 

Guys, I am actually kind of used to these kinds of comments. Boarding schools are really no good stuff. I came to Canada to learn about advanced Western technology, not how to swear.

 

“Would you stop it? This is harsh to the ding-dongs! Stupid little fellars!”

 

The teachers here are no better. They’re all white!

 

School ends at three. All the way back home, classmates talk about how great their mother’s cooking skills are.

 

“Mother’s bouillabaisse just looks as they taste.”

 

“Ha! Mom saves the day with the flip of the pan.”

 

Meh! Whatever they say, I get none of them. How could they eat chicken without a pair of chopsticks? How could they keep their table so clean after meals?

 

There is always nobody at home. Pitch dark, complete silence. Shangdi! Where am I?

 

Baba is nowhere at home. He is just out there gambling all the time. Well, there is nothing to criticize about. What could he ever do other than gambling?

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What about mama? Where is mama? 

 

When I was young, very young, dad used to tell me, “Mama will join us soon.” Yeah it’s nice to hear, but when exactly is “soon”?

 

It seems that it will take a while until I get the answer.

 

If Baba’s not at home, I have to be the home chef. I don’t like to hear others insisting on telling me how to cook. Why can’t I cook? Who says I have to make fried rice with ketchup and ham? Why can’t I cook oyster sauce and chopped vegetables?

 

Baba doesn’t return until ten. We don’t speak a lot. He just returns a few pennies as salary. Shangdi! Baba works for a whole day, and only returns with a few pennies?

 

Life is harsh for baba. Working day in, day out is no easy job. But who cares? Will the government help him? Nah, they are too “fully occupied”.

 

Baba was fired a few years ago. His company didn’t want him. He was “too yellow”, and was a “sight pollution”. Baba always says to me, “It’s fate. Just accept it. Say nothing when encountering discrimination.” 

 

Baba is a wise person. What would happen if I say no to discrimination?

 

“Go away! Leave me alone!”

 

“Ching Chong, Chinaman, Sitting on a rail. Along came a white man, And chopped off his tail.”

 

Is it depressive? Children sing rhymes. They say we are inferior to them. Can we say we’re not? Can we report people for discrimination?

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I still have my ways to enjoy life. When the new year comes, everyone in society gets busy. Clean houses, prepare for feasts, hang up lanterns, so much to do!

 

Baba doesn’t have to go to work on new year's day. His boss is Chinese. Everytime I tear away the last day of our calendar, we sit down together outdoors, and enjoy the crowd and noise.

 

Baba is good at calligraphy. Fai chuns everywhere are written by him. What should I say, he just enjoys writing them.

 

I really admire Baba a lot. He is not a rich person, but he puts two dollars into the red packet for me. “Boy, go spend them at school. Feel proud to be rich in front of the white.”
 

Baba, you told me. Discrimination is fate! Just accept it. Are you giving me two dollars to show the white we are not inferior to them? Shangdi, I think I am thinking too much!

 

Tonight is quiet. Everyone is thinking about home.

 

“Dear husband,

 

The willow tree in front of the house grows every year. Days pass by, the leaves turn white. Eventually, they fall off. Young couples play under the tree. They smile, they cry, they laugh. All the leaves have fallen off. Spring is coming. Creatures are returning. But my dearest things have no return.”

 

Dad reads the letter all the time. He tells me mom will join us some day. When exactly is the day?

 

It seems that it will take a while until I get the answer.